Atlanta Traffic!!!!!

Ugh! I had to go a whole 26 miles this morning and it usually takes me 30 minutes during non-rush hour so I alloted 1 hr 20 min to go a whole 26 miles with an appointment time of 9am - I left right after I put Madison on the bus at 7:40am. It generally takes me a whopping 15 minutes to make it to the interstate - it was just after 8:30am when I hit the interstate..... 50 minutes!!! The DOT sign said it was 30 minutes to the perimeter, so I called the dr office and told them I was going to be at the very bare minimum 20 minutes late. They took note of it and gave me a possible alternate AND because it is pre-op they definitely weren't going to be rescheduling. Well I finally made it to the perimeter around 9:15-9:20!!! I pulled into the parking deck around 9:45-9:50!!! I couldn't believe it! We got all checked in at 10am and were immediately called back cause we were the first patients to have shown up all morning!!! Appt's started at 8am and everyone before us had apparently gotten caught in the same traffic and we were the first ones to arrive! Wow, what a day that must have been after we left. Three more patients checked in while we were doing Bailey's tests. I'm really glad we got there first!

As a little side story ~ little miss Morgan Haley decided to take off down a hall while I was making the follow-up appt's. So I took off after her but she had disappeared. Bailey I searched up and down the maze of halls for her, calling her name, etc. Sometime later a nurse hollers, "I see her!" But little miss had ducked down another hall or two by the time we got down there. Finally after giving chase for another 5 minutes, a nurse in the records area saw her duck into a room and stood outside the door until we could get there! We found her behind the door crouched in something they transport med equipment on! She really had my heart pounding as she could have escaped in one of two open door ways that have no doors and taken off down the stairs she loves so much and then it's just a matter of feet before she would have been out the door where anyone could have picked her up!!! I didn't let her feet touch the floor for the rest of our excursions ... which included finishing making these follow-up appointments, getting lunch and my eye exam. She didn't go to gymnastics or the show I went to watch ~ Daddy got to watch her for those!

Jace Alexander Gikas

September 4, 2003 - February 25, 2004

I really don't have a purpose or anything I specifically want to say here. I just needed to talk about Jace today on the first anniversary of his death.
I miss that little boy sooo much!!! He was sooo precious and special. He came through so much being born so early. To look at him you would have no idea that he had come 14 weeks early - until you heard his age - otherwise you would have thought that he was born in December as he should have been.
Miraculously Jace had no real problems as many preemies born that soon do. He just bustled right through and took the bull by the horns. Nothing was going to stop him in life - except death.
I visited him the day before he died, like I always did. We had a standing Tuesday date :) Since I didn't have to worry with being home for anyone getting home from school I always stayed late - until after rush hour traffic had calmed down. I hugged him good-bye not 12 hours before he died. My precious little godson!
Has it really been a year AND wow, it's ONLY been a year - how can you have such opposite feelings at the same time? On one hand, it seems like I just snuggled him close yesterday, while on the other hand it feels like I haven't seen him in simply forever.
It's sooooo unfair!!!! The anger is still there but it has dimmed I realized. I'll bet that er dr doesn't even know he died - possibly because he didn't run tests that are standard for babies under 1 year old getting a nosebleed... much less preemies that get nosebleeds --- there's a standard of care and certain tests that are suppose to be run on all infants with nosebleeds - he didn't perform any of them nor even examine Jace. Even after death he was cheated - the coroner I suppose couldn't be bothered by an "obvious" SIDS case so he didn't even perform a correct autopsy as many dr's have pointed out. But the coroner couldn't prevent his death but that er doctor *might* have if he'd just taken the time to run some tests. &$*^$%#&$&%
But Jace, he wasn't about anger or sadness, he was all about life. That little precious thing was so utterly sweet you could gobble him up! How I wish I had taken more pictures of him and of me with him. But I was too preoccupied being with him to do such a thing.... I mean, we had the rest of his life to take pictures, right?
Of course, I have something more precious than pictures though, my memories. So far those memories haven't faded. I wish there was a VCR for our brains ya know. But how would you record things such as how soft his little cheek was when you pressed your lips to his little face, or how light he felt compared to the rest of the children. Oh but you could record that sweet little grunt or his adorable little cry or the way he cooed to you. Or how about the way he looked at you like, "Man I sure do have to put up with a lot being a cute little baby." I remember a comment made once about how he looked so wise for such a little baby... and the way he was in general - like he knew what life was all about and he was going to live it and enjoy all of it. It's very hard to describe to those who didn't know him... but those that did know him, know what I mean.

Please visit his website .... www.geocities.com/carisma474 ... we're working on the guestbook - so if it's full and you wish to sign it, please email me and I'll see that it gets in there once we empty it ... loewetn@hotmail.com

I miss you sweet baby boy!

Dragon tales and the Water is Wide
Pirates sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed, Sweet Dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed, Sweet Dreams

God bless Mommy and matchbox cars
God bless Dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "amen" wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet Dreams

-- Dixie Chicks "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)"


i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

-- evanescence "my immortal"

I love you, Jacey-bug!

Upcoming TV Appearance

Hey all, my dance class should be on TV the Sunday after next! Of course I'll let y'all know when it will air, but it's not really that big of a deal. We were filmed during class and then they picked three people to be interviewed ~ I was one of those people. I hadn't planned on it, but the "news girl" turned to me and "ok, your next!" So I gave an interview.... though I can already tell you that it will be cheesy and that I probably look like a giggly teenager or something.... not to mention my accent will probably show up loud and clear! Maybe they'll cut my portion!!! Anyway, it was a bit exciting nonetheless :)

Madison's Audiology

Believe it or not, but Madison has the exact same hearing loss as Bailey and both of them are following the same patterns I am!!! The audiologist was very surprised to find Madison with hearing loss --- she has apparently compensated for it very well and is not having problems. So at this point she is taking a wait and see approach as she may not need help until after puberty. Oh and her ear drum was not ruptured and had no fluid or infection at all, so that was great news.

So now the plan is to test Morgan Haley when Bailey comes in for his post-op hearing test. She'd also like to get Christian and Toree tested in order to compare their results with ours. All she knows for sure at this point is this is definitely genetic AND she is about to rescind my Meniere's diagnosis in light of these new findings on top of the official reports from my inner ear disturbance tests (or as I like to say, my dizzy tests).

Now we're just waiting on Bailey's pre-op and tubes surgery, then the post-op audiology and Morgan Haley's test results to make a determination about several things --- including if Bailey will need an amplification device, whether that be hearing aid or FM system - especially for school.

Mini-vacation

Well, we're back from our little get away :) Though we did cut it short a little bit cause Paul got tickets to the circus through his work, so we came home a day early. But that's okay, the kids were a little anxious to get back home anyway. Bailey, even though he enjoyed himself, kept asking to go back home several times a day. And they all really enjoyed the circus ~ while I enjoyed visiting with a friend :)

After picking up Paul's car in Hattiesburg, we spent time down at the shore and stayed in a nice little jacuzzi suite that had an indoor pool. We took the kids down to the pier and watched a boat for awhile, then we let them play in the sand. Only Madison wanted to touch the water so we let her touch the water with her toes like mommy. She loved it and wanted to play in it some more but that's as much as we were willing to let her do.

We also visited the Oceanarium in Gulfport. That was pretty neat. Madison and Bailey got their pictures made with Kalaka the Sea Lion kissing them (well actually just putting her head on top of their heads). Kalaka is a famous movie star --- she was in the movie "Andre." It's a cute little movie if you haven't seen it. The Oceanarium is different than other dolphin, sea lion and parrot shows at the zoos, Sea World, etc. We actually got to play with the dolphins by throwing them balls and they would throw them back at you.

There was also a huge tank full of all sorts of marine life. The children loved looking in it and watching a giant sea turtle eat right in front of them. They also loved the funny looking shark that had what appeared to be a chainsaw for a mouth! We watched a diver feed this shark one fish at a time. It was almost like a magic show cause all the sudden the fish would disappear. Obviously the shark ate it, but how is the question to be answered!!

Last but not least there was a touch tank. Bailey was soooo excited to touch fish but when it came time to put his hand down in the water he froze! After I showed them how safe it was to touch, Madison did it. Bailey then decided he wanted to touch something but not something alive, so I had to show him the rocks weren't alive and he finally touched those so that we could leave.

We then made our way up to Montgomery so that we wouldn't have to get up and leave quite so early like we would if we stayed on the coast. Again we stayed in a jacuzzi suite with an indoor pool. We swam for a long time before heading back to the room where the kids "swam" in the jacuzzi for a while.
Both of our suites had sleeper sofas and the kids slept in their sleeping bags on them. They wanted to go "fire camping" so bad, so we made it be 'indoor camping' instead - which satisfied them ---- for the time being ;)

We finally headed out around noon and parted ways in LaGrange where Paul took the kids to the circus - all three of them by himself! - and I headed up 27 to see some friends! Anyway, we enjoyed out little excursion even if it wasn't as long as previously planned :)

Happy Birthday, Jason!

Congratulations Seth and Naco!

We're so happy that you're expecting a new little one!

Seth and Naco ~ Baby #3

Finally over the Pox

Little miss Morgan Haley is completely scabbed over from her chicken pox! She had one blister get infected. The advice nurse just told us to soak in warm water, clean with dish soap and put neosporin on it with a band-aid. I soaked in warm water, cleaned with castille soap and put colloidal silver with a band-aid at first then later added some Golden Salve. It's all healed up and just awaiting the scab to fall off now. In fact that's all we're waiting on now, all the scabs to come off. Madison and Bailey still have a few scabs left so apparently this will take a little while. But now we can finally go out in public without worrying about giving it to someone unintentionally that doesn't want it.

Well we should be running off to Mississippi tomorrow and then off to the beaches or something for a few days. I'll update when we get back!

More Chicken Pox

Well finally Morgan Haley broke out in the pox in the middle of the night. She's got them terrible in her diaper area so she is going to go diaperless the majority of the time to let them dry and scab over as soon as possible. Who knows, maybe she'll potty train since she's so stinking interested in the potty and has gone a few times already. As I know, the 2nd and 3rd day are the worst days with the 4th day beginning the road to recovery. This is perfect timing I just realized, since we are going to take that mini-vacation this weekend! She should be completely scabbed over by then and if not, then close to it. Oh I hope so!

Finally .....

The car is fixed!!! We are going to make a mini-vacation out of picking up the car by everyone driving out to Hattiesburg in the van and then splitting up between the car and van and taking off for the beaches of Florida! We would head on out to Texas but that would take too many days at this point --- maybe over spring break we'll head out there :)

Happy Birthday Aunt Sonja!

Tiff update & Madison PT Conf

Tiffiany went home yesterday morning. She isn't on bedrest per se but she will not be going back to work for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Yesterday was Madison's Parent-Teacher conference. There really isn't a whole lot to say as her report card pretty much says it all (http://www.geocities.com/mimi74_97/MadisonRCK2.html) She's doing excellently, is at the top of her class (not that it really matters in kindergarten) and is expected to advance quiet quickly. It's one of the main reasons her teacher is not worried in the least bit about Madison missing this much schooling. The only thing Ms R worries about is if Madison will feel left out of any of the fun things that they do while she is gone. So those things have come home with us so that she won't feel left out. Very little academics has come home as she is so far ahead and there's no need to push it.

Tiff

Just got word that my cousin Tiffiany (Aunt Shelia's oldest daughter) is in preterm labor. From what I've heard they have her on mag sulfate and steriods for the baby's lungs. She's due sometime in the beginning of April - so two months early. Pray all is okay and that labor is stopped until this baby is ready to be born.

Interesting enough, she originally thought she was due in February, but via an ultrasound the dr changed her due date to the April 4. Sooo, who knows, maybe this baby IS ready to be born right now. Either way, as long as baby is safe and sound and requires no assistance.

Tiffiany and Lamar Holcombe ~ Baby #2

Madison's leg pains

I know I sent out an email today regarding Madison but the blog wouldn't be complete if I didn't include the info here. I had to take Madison to the dr again today due to pain in her legs. She's been having intermittent pain for a couple of months in her knees. At first I thought it was growing pains but decided to have the doc check it out. He thought that it was growing pains at first, too, until he started asking questions and heard my answers. So two weeks ago, he said if the pain ever changed places or she developed a limp or the intensity got much worse then to bring her in. Sunday she woke up with pain in her shin and it was much worse than the pain in her knees had been. Well, Dr. Steimer knows how active Madison is and when he saw the exact spot she was hurting (I made her show me while it was hurting so I could show him cause the pain is always gone by the time we get there) he thought shin splints... until he found out that she hadn't been running around at all on Saturday and what our week was like last week (definitely not running around that's for sure). So now we are to stay in close contact with him for the next two weeks and if the pain hasn't disappeared by then (it only hurts once every one or two weeks for a little while) then he is going to order up some x-rays and lab work.

I purposely didn't ask him what he'd be looking for or what it could be like I normally do because quite frankly I don't want to know yet. My brain is on shut down. I'm praying for growing pains and/or shin splints. I'm also a little emotional now because the year anniversary of Jace's death is coming up here in a couple of weeks... so if I seem like I'm over-reacting a bit, I just might be - just don't tell me or I might bust out in tears *weak smile*

Oh and while we were there, he discovered an ear infection starting up. He was just about to say that the left ear looked a bit red when Madison pipes up and says, "My ear hurts," while pointing to her left ear. She hadn't mentioned it to me before so it was the first I heard about it. As it turns out, it only hurt because Dr. S put the otoscope in her ear - otherwise it is still in the early stages and doesn't hurt unless you poke in her ear or pull on it. So hopefully the leg thing was just to get me in there to discover her ear infection prior to it getting really bad and putting her in a lot of pain.

Doc S knows I am going to do natural remedies first before using his allopathic medicines, so I'm using garlic/mullien/willow oil 4x a day in her ear and giving echinacea tinture 4x a day (1 drop for every 2lb body weight) and added vitamin C. So far she' s not in any pain so there's no need for hot water bottles or chamomile pillows or valerian root tincture at this time.

Oh and she won't be going back to school for the remainder of the week just as a precaution. Since I developed pneumonia as a complication to the chicken pox as a child, we don't want the ear infection to be a precursor of something else.

Happy Birthday Hannah!

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dean and Stephanie!

Home Again

Well we got home last night between 10 and 1030 (didn't pay attention to the time). It was good to be home in many ways (Paul is here, my own bed), but not so good in others (now I gotta clean my own house :-p). The week went well and without much incident at all. The kids all played well together and now Bailey is upset that we won't be seeing Marshall today or tomorrow. He didn't want to go home at all :)

Their chicken pox are on the mend and are totally scabbed over now. So Madison will be going back to school sometime next week... maybe Wednesday or Thursday. With it being kindergarten and the fact that she is so far ahead, I'm not worried with how much school she is missing for now. Neither is her teacher. I picked up some work for her to do while she is absent so she isn't going to be behind much, if at all.

Little Morgan Haley has suddenly grown up on me. She is no longer my baby anymore. There has been a verbal explosion that just blows me away. Not to mention she has gained some major independence. Not once this past week did I hold her to go to sleep and she rarely came to me for anything because she was having so much fun with her partner in crime, McKayla. Oh man, was it fun to watch those two play. How I wish I had had a videocamera! Waaahhhh, momma wants some cuddle time!!!!!

Well, I think that's about all from this camp. I'm going to go catch up on some sleep!

Happy Birthday Melody!

Our New Website

www.geocities.com/familyaunaturale7

I started a new website as my other one was just getting too big and too much to handle when doing some redesigning. I'm going to start learning HTML here in the near future also.

Coming Home

Momma just called and they are in the process of discharging Deddy from the hospital. They still have to take out his drain tube and do all the paperwork so who knows exactly when it will be. But at least he knows he'll be in his bed tonight and no one poking and prodding him during the night!

Almost Over

The chicken pox are almost gone! Woo - Hoo !!! Well, almost woo-hoo anyway - little Morgan Haley still hasn't broken out. She might even go without getting it at all I've been told.

Madison has only a couple of blisters that haven't scabbed over and nothing is itching her anymore. She feels so much better!

Bailey didn't break out nearly as bad as Madison. I'm really afraid he only got a mild case - but hopefully he crossed the threshold and developed a lifetime immunity.

If I recall Toree broke out worse than Christian as well.

Oh well, I'm very thankful that it wasn't any worse than it was for them. They really only had two days of itching each and one night each where they woke up a lot. Neither of them itched on their face even though they were broken out pretty badly there. I'm hoping no one develops any scars, but it they do it won't be the end of the world!

Happy Birthday Aunt Margaret

Deddy

Deddy woke up with a bit of a fever - pretty low, but a fever none the less. He had the leak test done and it came back just fine. But they are going to keep him another day to make sure he can drink enough. Otherwise he's doing great and hasn't had any morphine since 1am.

Happy Birthday Joe!!!!

At least you're somewhere "exciting" for your big 3-0!

Deddy's WLS

I started out my day getting up at 5:30am so that I could drive out and watch Marshall and McKayla. Leaving at 5:45am makes me just miss the beginning of rush hour traffic which was my goal. I got to Mom's a little after 7. Between 9:30 and 10:00am Momma called from the hospital and said they had taken Deddy back but wouldn't be starting right away so it would be 3 or 4 hours before we'd hear anything else. I'll keep y'all posted as I hear!
*********************
Well 5 hours later, Momma calls to tell me that Deddy is out of surgery and in recovery. Everything has gone well and was able to be done laproscopically! They started the surgery a little later than anticipated which is what took so long. The leak test will be done in the morning and then they'll get him started on his new diet. Then he should be heading home sometime in the afternoon. Alrighty, more as I know it!
*********************
Deddy called just a few minutes ago (re 4:45pm). He sounded pretty groggy and was going to drift back to sleep, but other than that, he sounded pretty darn good!